The Single Calorie Hamburger

 

‘Breakthrough’ read the New York Times, Nature called it as the end of the world obesity crises. With his unical Hamburger, John Gates, a relatively unknown entreprenuer from Texas has zoomed into popularity and because a celebrity himself.

Scientests and nutritionists have been baffeled with this unique offering offered specially and uniBurger joints all across the country has uprooted the consumer of base of the likes of Whitecastle and McDonalds. Even the neigbourly diners have been shaken up!

‘The discovery has not been easy! We have designed a process to extract all the fat and carb molecules from the ingredients, without affecting the flavour’, said Mr Gates.

‘When the key ingredients like flour, cheese, beef and mayonnaese interact with the extractors of our process, they lose their ability to add fat and extra carbs to the offering. We have already patented the process, and our dream to end the obesity epidemic shall be fulfilled’

Mr Gates detractors are wary of his finds and are worried about possible negative impacts of the food being offered. The prime worry is the risk which always  has been associated with GM modified foods coming true.

‘We have found part answer to the quote mentioning that everything good in life is either fattening or married! I believe that McDonalds shall be a thing of the past, with our safe technology food lovers need not worry about the ill effects of their love for flavor food. Soon you shall see uniCal’s Hot Dogs, fries, Steaks and sausages.’

Upon being asked why the name uniCal, Mr Gates smiled and said,’Honestly our burgers add upto 6 calories per meal, however a normal human spends upto 5 calories munching the meal. As a result the net addition of calories is just 1, thats how the name uniCal comes from!’

The first advertisement of the product showed Gisele Bundchen munching onto cheeseburgers with ease with a catch line, ‘Now even size 0 doesn’t mean going hungry!’ This Superball advertisement has had immense impact on people, who have flocked to uniCal outlets ever since!

TIME magazine claims it to be the find of the century, way above the iPod or Nintendo Wii! Mr Gates is one of the top contenders for TIME Man of the year!

‘Ankur, Ankur…get up! Tea is ready’
‘Hmm…’, I can see my dad calling from the corner of my eye, its time to get up!
Sigh…I wish I could continue that dream…and be the solution to the obesity problem! But instead I shall treat myself with a 100 calorie tea!

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Above Average

I completed another book by an IITian, called Above Average. Its in the series of the recently spurge of campus fiction books like Five Point Someone, Mediocre But Arrogant, and Anything for you Ma’am. All these talk about people doing their studies at a prestigious Engineering School like IIT or MBA at JIM(XLRI in fiction!).

The authors of these books, are all pass-outs of these institutes and are thus able to articulate life at these places to the envy of others(perhaps also make a sale on the book because of the same reason).

But what about us, the people who have never been to such institutes of learning. In a country where only top 1% test takers ever make to an IIT or IIM, what about the stories which we JIITians or SCMHRDians have to tell?

Maybe one day I would also write one ;-)